Fleeting Adventures of Insufferable Romance and Excruciating Fantasy – #020 – How To Find Sunlight (excerpt)

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Go ahead, ask for sunlight. The storeowner will turn her head at your query. She will be standing behind the counter, unmoving as her selection of wares. Assorted doodads and questionable thingies decorate the dingy walls and tables, leaving slight elbow room for movement straight from the entrance to the counter. It’s no wonder this enterprise is often ridiculed. Sunlight is thought to be earned naturally, through constant nurturing, of course. You are aware of this, and ask without falter.

She replies: What kind? We have various sorts of those. 100% pure sunlight is our bestseller; distilled sunlights are currently out of stock but our mini-sunlights are a sufficient alternative. They also come in citrus and menthol for extra pleasure. Pick your poison, good sir.

Ask her if they have the Lightlight in stock. She will ask: Do you require it for any special occasion?

Do not look into her eyes. Say it’s for something personal, after which she will step into the stock room behind her. Her inquisition is protocol but largely avoidable.

You will wait a while, tapping your sandals upon the sandwood, long enough to notice something brilliant flow from the store’s entrance. A glistening mademoiselle, swathed in lunar white―as though she had risen from the surface of the moon and left a crater in her wake. But there was something peculiar about her radiance, ever so minutely an off-color white. Try not to make eye contact―but you will fail regardless. She is so beautiful, you discern, that you nearly forget your business in this establishment. She will make a request, addressing you as part of the staff:

She: The lightest you have, please.

Do not fret, for this was meant to happen. Follow this line of dialog carefully: (she will always have to reply accordingly)

You: It appears we have identical quests.

She: That is irrelevant. Is the storetender unavailable?

You: I have spoken with her; we will soon possess what we yearn.

She: You can’t be certain we seek the same thing.

You: The same means always leads to the same end.

She: Debatable, but we delay; the storetender has returned.

Returning via the backroom door, the storeowner regrettably announces that they are out of stock on Lightlights.

The off-white moongirl will rotate on her heels and exit the store with as much grace as she entered. You will have no other choice but to run after her.


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Fleeting Adventures of Insufferable Romance and Excruciating Fantasy – #011 – The Oldest Game – Part 1

First card draw. Benito speaks: “Sandugo is as new worlds come: burning,  hostile. It is the center of the universe it knows. Stars have yet to come into existence, and thus, daylight is a concept equal parts alien and unfathomable. It is its own heat source. Millennia pass and the land cools. The seas are hotblood. The first organic acids bond. I am the force that drives life, the grand connection.” Benito brings out a card from his hand of five, and slams it onto the once-empty playing field.

William smirks. “I’d expect nothing other than an easy play from the reigning—or should I say soon-to-be-ex-champion. You forgot to coat your precious cell in lipids.” He lays a card onto his field. “The wild, hot seas prevent your connection from solidifying. High speed non-organic materials tear your acids apart. I am the force that drives entropy, the cosmos’ suicidal will. This match is merely a formality, Ben. I have foreseen every possible outcome; all of which end in your demise. The quanta are against you.”

Benito looks off to the side. “I have already made my move,” he said, noncommittally. William’s eyes widen as he checks Benito’s field. A new card lays right beside his first move. Benito speaks: “The sea’s hatred is a catalyst. The acids form a dynamic corpus that evades all turbulence thrown at it. The force that drives entropy loses a turn.”

William scoffs. “Of course you’d make that move. You surprise me by not surprising me. Go on with your turn, then.”

Another card is placed. “I evolve into a lambalat progenitor, uni-legged pioneer of the diaspora, venturer into scorching land, the next frontier.”

“There we go. Welcome to my domain, Ben.” William holds up a card for his opponent to see. Benito blinks twice. On the card, a picture of a meteor was etched.



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