Fleeting Adventures of Insufferable Romance and Excruciating Fantasy – #016 – How To Make a List


Don’t worry about anything. Have a cuppa. Have a smoke. Have a spoonful. Thank the sun. Thank the moon in case you forget. Have another cuppa. Try not to collapse. You’re doing great! Make the bed. Your last one broke. Wonder if you’re too fat. Wish you had a full length mirror. Eat a hearty breakfast. Is bacon hearty? Who the fuck cares? Lick your plate to save on dish soap. Dress for work. It’s a Saturday. Don’t dress down; you go to work in your worst clothes anyway. Step outside and feel the sea breeze. You’re in the city, but all air molecules must’ve been sea breeze at one point. Shutter your windows. Toil on your life’s work. Toil on your life’s work? Toil on your quarter life’s work. Toil on any kind of work. Just, toil. Have one more cuppa. Feel good about yourself. Check social media. Feel terrible about yourself. Realize you require actual social interaction. Get out and pretend to buy milk. Realize you really do need milk. Forget what for. Forget what for. Forget what for. Convince yourself it’s for the waffles. Do waffles need milk? Inconsequential. Tip the cashier. No one tips in this country. There’s a tip for you. Say hi to passersby, regardless of species. Try not to get arrested. Don’t sweat too much. Fail miserably. Meet the girl of your dreams. Laugh out of despair. Double lock the front gate. Triple lock your front door. Your neighbors are nice people, you imagine. Wonder what they must look like. Trust no one. Fail miserably. Enter your safety zone. Type a few words. Relish every second of your life. Lay down feeling ambiguous. Masturbate in the dark. Sleep in your own fluids; you’re gonna need a bath eventually. Try again tomorrow.


On second thought, make a list.


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