Fleeting Adventures of Insufferable Romance and Excruciating Fantasy – #004 – The Unbearable Sweetness of Being

I entered Stickyland gates over spongy bricks, careful not to tread on anything too sweet. I averted my gaze from the myriad eyecandies that walk about, their covers peeled. Winter was presumably over, as made evident by melting frosting once caked onto the edges of tasty hovels and layers of gingerbread apartment complexes.

Upon passing by a patch of sugarblossoms, I noticed a particular one bleached in ineffable white. Is she still living her brief existence or has she begun telling newer stories? I bent over, bringing my face closer to the flower, scent of artificial bubblegum vacuuming into my nostrils.

In an instant, I felt cold plastic on my forehead. I was held at sweet gunpoint by the long licorice arm of the law. The noodly red appendage, which held a see-through pistol filled to the barrels with multicolored pellets, was so long that it extended all the way to the massive gumball tower at the city’s core. “How many licks does it take to get to the city’s heart?” it asked me. “More than my life can permit,” I answered. It didn’t seem to like this answer, for it shook and reeled, and wrapped a segment of its body around my waist. “This is exactly why we keep close watch over meatbags like you, who make away with our saccharine bodies for your own preservation,” threatened the string of licorice. “I was mistaken! I dare not lick, for yours is a culture I deeply respect!” I pleaded. “Sweet words won’t get you out of this,” it declared, lifting me up and zipping me along with it back into the metallic flap of the central tower, quick as it came. All was dark for a long while.

When I came to, I discovered my limbs were held to the walls by honey deep in the recesses of the giant tower. Swathed in darkness, I struggled for escape. A magic jawbreaker, a curse of silence among curses, had been thrust into my mouth to keep me from continuing the story. O, rising action, o, climax! I’m afraid we shall never meet. Thus, for ages, upon ages, there was silence.

Nothing but sweet, sweet silence. Sweet, luscious silence—of all kinds, actually! Honey caramel cinnamon sugar sprinkle pop berry gummy jelly choco fudgy peanut brittle how many licks does it take to escape bondage? All till your final breath.

Years go by faster when shackled by all this candy. The honey had crystallized into sugar and the jawbreaker had long been licked to its very core. Not wishing to spend any further second on Stickyland, I expelled all sweetness from within me, and left this worldbuilding exercise with a bitter taste in my mouth.


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